Upon waking and feeling myself moving “away” from God (in any case, feeling my moving away from a very bright light, where I know I have been)—immediate feelings of anxiety and fear—all arising spontaneously as a result of the separation. I realized that these feelings DO arise spontaneously, and are the VERY SYMPTOMS of separation from the Center. We then go around in the world acting out these feelings, and because we all have them in common so long as we feel that we are separated from God, we all act in concert (?) with these feelings of anxiety and fear as the common basis for all our actions. These actions become “normal” (defined as what is “normal”) and we base all our religious and spiritual beliefs and practices on this “normality”. THUS—the “return” to God is seen as having to give up what we are, giving up this “normality”—this anxiety and fear—when in fact it’s a return to sanity. Further, “going back to God”, to the Center, becomes a fearful and anxiety ridden endeavor until we learn to just let go. Parallel to this is the feeling of low self esteem, of self-loathing, that arises.
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© 1995 - 2019 by Roger Hamstra