Light Seeking Light
Maybe I should speak more from personal experience—when I’m running around in the world being a person, being a carpenter, eating, talking, feeling tired, feeling energized, I feel that I’m somehow off to my left side, for want of a better way of saying it, and that my attention, my consciousness, is focused towards the left. On the left I feel all the polarities of existence as if they were in one body on one side of me—male and female, good and bad, light and dark, Christ and Satan, satgurus and drug dealers, heavens and hells—unless I’m especially anchored in one point of view I can feel myself flip back and forth from one polarity to the other—first I’m male, then female, for example. If I move myself towards my right I become more ‘aware’—first of the relationships of the polarities (most people get lost in the polarities and have no awareness of being in one or another of them), and as I move further towards the right I move into ‘spaciousness’, at which point I become aware of the totality of the body of polarities on the left—and feel that I’m the ‘life’ of the polarities; if I keep going I wind up on the right as Pure Consciousness with the body of polarities to the left, so to speak. If I move to the center between the two bodies, the body of polarities and the body of pure consciousness, then I feel that both are a part of me—and if I merge the two bodies by moving both towards the center then I experience different levels of bliss as the two bodies merge, at which point I become the bliss and the qualities of both bodies—the bliss of the union, the consciousness of the right and the ‘beingness’ of the left, and yet I also stay the same as a ‘presence’. To me it’s quite easy to think of the left body, the ‘beingness’ body as feminine and the right body, the pure consciousness body, as being masculine. When I look at the right body I see lots of guys, yogis, but almost always men, in meditation, and my initial reaction to them is that they are dry—that’s the word that comes to mind —’dry’—as if the left side, the feminine, were wet, and these guys are dry, and out of touch with the feminine. They had no emotions, no heart. To me these guys are in a dead end, and if they are ever going to advance, ever going to get out of the dead end, they’re going to have to integrate the feminine. And yet these same guys and the position of these guys, is the ideal and the role model for much of eastern spirituality. Of course their opposites are too ‘wet’ , too immersed in the ocean of desires. Most ‘enlightenment’ practices, most spiritual pursuits, come from one end of this polarity and are directed towards the other, but there’s no integration and no transcendence of polarities—both ‘ends’ feed off the energy generated by the polarity and so nothing ever really happens because on the overall scale the status quo needs to be maintained to maintain the energy that both sides need. On this level there’s not much difference between mainstream spiritual teachers and those who ‘need’ to be taught.—that’s why nothing ever really happens in the world—people talk about this and that major change, new age, etc, but things keep going (business as usual)—just sort of change shape.
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© 1995 - 2021 by Roger Hamstra