Bits and Pieces: Miscellaneous Writing

A collection of  bits and pieces on a variety of topics.

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Babaji, the Sun, and Me

At night I lay in bed and hear a loud “om” sound in my head, and during many nights Haidakhan Baba is around—I don’t see him physically, but I can feel him. It’s as though he merges with me and his energy washes me clean and breaks my ties with my lives. I wind up …

Developing Immunity

I was in a very intense relationship about fifteen years ago—the woman would get suicidal at times—not actually, but just thinking about it with substantial emotional force. I’d find myself feeling those thoughts/emotions as my own and it was all I could do to keep from acting on them, especially in the beginning when I …

Doing, Not Doing, and Witness Consciousness

Remember I used the image of a central ‘sun’ ? And remember I wrote to you about being immersed in overwhelming love, and how I got there, etc? If your attention and identity are focused on the body, as most beings here are, you’ll experience the sun as the fulfillment of bodily goals, which is …

Dreamwork

You asked about dream work, etc. To be honest with you I’ve fooled around with it, done the Tibetan stuff, done the Monroe stuff, but mostly got bored with it– at least with the *active* pursuit of any sort of experiences—I was happier just to let things happen—or even happier to have “dreams” where I …

Dropping Lives

I‘ve been going around dropping lives and parts of lives like I was shedding skin. I can see them sort of floating around me and I can go into any one of them and feel the feelings, think the thoughts, etc, and then I just sort of let go of them and I’m disengaged from …

Dumo

More about the throat and dumo (heat)—I find that I can consciously generate heat by relaxing and energizing my throat chakra—usually by focusing on the large cervical vertebrae and relaxing the muscles in my shoulders (the trapezius, etc), and then imagining an energy flow coming from both sides to the center in the throat. (You …

Dying Consciously

Last night I had a dream—better, an experience—where I was in a room with a bunch of people—I got the sense that you and your friends were there also—and I wanted to demonstrate something to you, so I told you I would consciously die. You were all horrified, but I went ahead and laid down …

Escaping the World

You wrote: “I know that my wavering in and out of this world is not from some kind of “will to ground myself,” but happens because the world obviously must still hold some attraction for me” So you see the world as something you have to escape? Did you ever stop to think that perhaps …

Grounding

You wrote: “Frequently I have been feeling lost. I am unusually tired all the time. Feel only like sleeping. Can’t seem to stay focused enough to do any one thing well at home.” Yep, this happens when you get too much of your physical energy in your head, so you feel tired and like sleeping—this …

Non-Being

You wrote: I suppose I’m distracting myself with the Heart Sutra (from the fear of Non-Being) but also learning to relate to compassion which is the only way of dealing with the terror. That was/is the worst of it all… how to describe… the sense of the total indifference of the universe (as if we …

Polarity and the Grail

The ‘polarity’ thing—I find what usually happens is that I bounce back and forth between doing clearing work ‘down low’ (legs, or below, for example) and balancing things ‘up high’—the more you clear and release down below, the more your vision clears ‘up above’. If the human energy system is defined by the base chakra, …

Raising Your Own Level

About raising your own level—you can’t raise your own level any more than you can pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. All the good works and karma burning exercises in the world won’t do the job—what you need is what you’ve already got—an active kundalini, which has its own mind and knows what its …

Rebirth and My Body

I‘ve been doing a lot of restructuring lately (talk about unloading and unloading). I’ve been working out my relationship with my body. What I mean is that I’ve always found it more trouble than it’s worth to take care of, but some time ago I must have spent most of one night apologizing to my …

Right Shift

The right-shift thing. I tend to use my body as a mandala– what I mean is that I use it as a reference point to initiate conditions, etc, that may not be body related at all, so when I talk about something happening on the right side of the chest it isn’t necessarily something that …

Separation Anxiety and Original Sin

Upon waking and feeling myself moving “away” from God (in any case, feeling my moving away from a very bright light, where I know I have been)—immediate feelings of anxiety and fear—all arising spontaneously as a result of the separation. I realized that these feelings DO arise spontaneously, and are the VERY SYMPTOMS of separation …

Spiritual Psychology

Several years ago I had a very vivid dream where I was sitting on a stool in the middle of a room with a light shining down from somewhere above my head. Rajneesh came in and handed me a folder, a booklet, titled “Spiritual Psychology”—there were pictures of various people and some text. He then …

Spiritual Pursuits, Biology, and Psychology

The problem with a lot, if not most traditional spiritual pursuits, methods, schools, etc, is that they have next to no knowledge of human psychology, much less human biology or physiology. So when someone is going through something like what I’ve described above the usual answer is to control your thoughts, control your emotions, fast, …

The Sons of God: You are not a Fallen Yogi

Listen to me: YOU ARE NOT A SCREWUP! You just don’t understand who and what you are. Yes, you are moving in the opposite direction, from enlightenment to darkness, but for a reason. Yes, you will feel as though you’re going in the opposite direction from everyone else on the “spiritual path” because you ARE—you’re …

The Way of Knowledge and the Way of Communion

About the way of Knowledge and the way of Communion—they’re different sides of the same thing– in the end you have to give up both in order to go beyond them, because both cause you to assume a position of duality—knower and known, communer and whatever-the-hell-the word-is-for-that-with-which you commune (or is it the ‘communee’ and …

Third Eye

You wrote: “The sensation I’d been getting at the third eye (vibratory) began to make itself present at the crown chakra, only at first it was like a low voltage of electricity from the crown to the back of my tongue!” This is quite common—the usual model for kundalini is that it starts at the …

Transmutation

About having your sperm dance up your spine, shaktipat, etc. I think the idea of sperm or semen actually going up your spine is a sort of eastern way of saying that the energy from the base chakra turns and goes up—the energy is transmuted, as it were. Transmuted from a base metal into gold …

Washed Clean

I‘d come back from a bike ride and jumped into the shower. As soon as the water hit me I felt like I was being washed clean—more than physically clean. My immediate reaction was to sit down in the tub with the water pouring down over my head, and I spontaneously started chanting with all …

What I Experience

You asked me about what I experience. I always sense the central sun over me, in front of me, around me: when I close my eyes I can see it, feel it, sense it. When I go to sleep, I see it visibly, and I either move towards it, or it moves towards me, and …