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A collection of short bits and pieces on a variety of topics. |
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You asked me about what I experience. I always sense the central
sun over me, in front of me, around me: when I close my eyes I can
see it, feel it, sense it. When I go to sleep, I see it visibly,
and I either move towards it, or it moves towards me, and I
dissolve into it, completely or partially. This isn’t just on a non
physical level--I don’t leave my body to do this--it’s as though
every cell in my physical body knows this, is aware of the central
sun, and welcomes it openly. When I feel the light and love of the
central sun I feel it on all levels, right down to my toes, in
every cell of this body. At other times it’s as though things are
reversed and I become sort of a window or mirror for the central
sun, so that it shines into the world as best it can through me.
For...
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I've been going around dropping lives and parts of lives like I was
shedding skin. I can see them sort of floating around me and I can
go into any one of them and feel the feelings, think the thoughts,
etc, and then I just sort of let go of them and I'm disengaged from
that life. Past and present lives all have the same weight and
value, and I can see them as though they were composed of multiple
layers of colored patterns and shapes that overlap and project
images -- and I'm the light of the projector, so to speak. The
layers are made up of layers inherited from the people and
environment in my life-- my parents, society, the world. They're
sort of like templates-- that's the word I used once when I was
watching the 8 year old son of a friend of mine run across the
field in front of me I... |
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I'd come back from a bike ride and jumped into the shower. As soon as the water hit me I felt like I was being washed clean-- more than physically clean. My immediate reaction was to sit down in the tub with the water pouring down over my head, and I spontaneously started chanting with all this water going over me. I must have been in there for an hour, and I felt like I was being reborn, and also being washed clean of my own birth, so that I felt as though I was giving birth to myself-- as though I'd washed away my parents, and my physical birth, and that I was now doing it out of myself-- being the father and the mother and the son, if that makes sense. |
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At night I lay in bed and hear a loud "om" sound in my head, and
during many nights Haidakhan Baba is around-- I don't see him
physically, but I can feel him. It's as though he merges with me
and his energy washes me clean and breaks my ties with my lives. I
wind up being this bright sun with all these lives around it, and
my light shines through them and gives them life, but it isn't only
life energy, it's consciousness. During the day I walk around in
this body, seeming to be this body consciousness, and I'm aware of
a bright sun inside me, but I also feel that I, as consciousness,
am the sun looking back at itself-- as though I can see the sun
through a window, but my body-state is the window and I'm looking
back through myself at the sun, which is really me. Well, I know
what I mean... |
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